I have been in love with live theatre since I was 15 years old. I’ve worked on countless
productions, in every conceivable role both onstage and backstage, and I’ve worked in every level
of the industry, from amateur to professional to everything in between.
Several years ago I started my own theatre company, realizing a dream that I’d had almost since
the beginning of my involvement in live theatre. For many years I lurched from production to
production, season to season, having a few successes, but mostly just failures. In June 2010 I
finally gave up the ghost and called it quits.
Since then I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how and why I was unsuccessful as a
producer, director and theatre owner. I’ve spent countless hours and days going over and over
things in my head, re-living my mistakes and asking myself where it all went wrong.
There have been no easy answers. There is no one moment I can point to and say “Yes – that is
where all the trouble began.” There is no one thing that I could have done any differently, no
single choice I could have made that would have allowed me to keep making theatre in a
sustainable manner.
A couple of weeks after my company went under a job opened up for the position of manager at
a nearby theatre. Obviously I applied, for even though my company was no more I was sure that
the years of experience I had gained running it (as well as a slew of related skills and training) had
given me excellent qualifications, and I felt sure that my application would stand out above the
others. If nothing else I felt certain that my qualifications would at least let me in the door to make
my case for the job in person.
As you can imagine, I didn’t get that position. I didn’t even get an interview.
Everything I thought I knew about theatre had come crashing down around me in a matter of
weeks. I didn’t trust anything of what I knew any more. I didn’t trust anyone’s praise or
admiration of anything I knew, or anything I did that had anything to do with theatre. I didn’t
know who I was anymore, but I know that “skilled theatre professional” wasn’t it.
To put it bluntly, I sucked.
I suck at making theatre.
But I can’t just walk away from it. Theatre is who I am, it’s what I do, my calling. When I’m not
making theatre I don’t feel complete as a person. For all that I am blessed with there is this one
part of me that’s missing, and I don’t think I will be able to feel complete again until I am once
again satisfied that I don’t suck at making theatre.
Which brings me back to all this. This website is the “re-booting” my theatrical mind. I’m
throwing out everything I know or think I know about theatre, and I’m starting fresh. I will
research, write and post two new articles per week about some aspect of theatre: acting,
directing, design, tech, etc. These articles will be informative, succinct pieces that clearly explain
whatever skill, concept or idea being considered. I will provide links to the resources I have
consulted, and those which provide further information.
The purpose of these articles is to re-learn everything I know about theatre. I want to replace all
my incorrect, tainted knowledge with well-informed industry-standard best practices. I want to
toss out my unpolished skills and the “quick and dirty” ways of doing things that I’ve learned
over the years, and replace them with professional craftsmanship imbued with a creative flair. I
want to wipe the slate completely clean and start from scratch, making sure that this time, I get it
right.
It will probably be some time before I’m involved in any major capacity on another theatrical
production, but eventually I know that I will be unable to resist theatre’s siren song and I will
have to try putting on a play once again. When that day comes I hope that I will have ventured far
enough along on this journey to ensure that my era of failure as a skilled theatre professional has
passed me by.
Eric